Honestly!
by emrei
Summary: Valentine’s Day 2003 Challenge at the dramione LJ community, wherein Draco and Hermione fight over something insignificant, and Hermione says “Honestly” seven times.


**Title:** Honestly!  
  
**Summary:** Valentine's Day 2003 Challenge at the dramione LJ community, wherein Draco and Hermione fight over something insignificant, and Hermione says "Honestly" seven times.   
  
**Rating:** G

**Author's Note**: Un-betaed, and inspired by RL especially some of Draco's dialogue. This fic was written for dramione's Valentine's Day challenge of 2003 sponsored by Contra Veritas, and managed by slytherinlinzi. Requirements of the fic will be found at the end of the chapter.

**Watch out for:** "Honestly!", Draco in a drug store, silly man-logic.****

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.****

* * *

"Honestly, Draco, what was so difficult about it? I tell you what I needed and you didn't get it!"   
  
His mouth fell in disbelief. He had gone out of his way, for her, multiple times just to make her happy, and what happened? She forgot all of that and is narrow-mindedly focused on the brand name of the package in his hands.   
  
'Why must she be so frustratingly picky?' He asked the package in his hands, hoping that it would provide the answer to question. Through Draco's reasonable man-logic, he believed that since they were made of the same material and served the same purpose that they were indeed the same.   
  
He knew they looked similar to the ones he noticed in their bathroom; and he made sure he didn't by the other cylindrical shaped ones he saw in the aisle.   
  
"What's the difference?" he asked, still confused.  
  
Hermione's eyes narrowed and a growl escaped her lips.   
  
Now, if she sent him to buy clothes, then that'd be a different story, as he knew his fashion. But the fact remains that she didn't. She could have specified what it was exactly she wanted, or given him a picture to make it easier, but she didn't.

* * *

  
  
It was in the drug store that he found the best thing ever. It finally made sense to Draco why she never took him with her. There was an entire aisle dedicated to hair care - gel, pommade, and mousse (something that Hermione definitely doesn't need).   
  
There were shampoos and conditioners, for the flaky-haired and the nice scented ones for the stinky-haired. He immediately passed by Herbal Essences without a glance. The commercials he'd seen were a deciding factor for he refused to hear pleasurable moans escaping her lips when he wasn't around.   
  
After filling a basket of hair care, he remembered that she also needed chocolate and medicine. On his way to the other aisle, he was stopped by some intriguing merchandise. What loving man could resist straightening irons and frizz ease for his bushy haired girlfriend? He knew she needed something like this, as magic wasn't always enough. There was a thrill he got by taming the tiger.   
  
The lovely lady helped him push his two full carts around to get his girlfriend's much needed chocolate and medicine. On their journey around the store, he also discovered hair dye, in-home spa kits, scented lotions, and bath bubbles and oils. If there was anything he missed from Hogwarts, it was the bathing bubbles that released from the faucet.   
  
He read an article on how to keep your woman happy in a magazine called Cosmopolitan as the girl rung up his purchases. He was inspired by the sex moves the muggles came up with – twisting tornado, and he looked forward to trying with Hermione.   
  
Another customer satisfied, Draco pretended to pack his purchases in his car, when in fact, he simply cast an Alohomora on a random automobile. Satisfied with his acting skills, he cast a simple Reducto spell and pocketed all twelve miniature bags. He closed the trunk of the car and pretended to forget something inside the store beside the alleyway.   
  
'There was something else she wanted', Draco thought, 'but I nearly bought the whole store, so it must be here.' He patted his pocket and apparated away.   
  
How wrong he was!   
  
After the shock of seeing twelve full bags wore off, she swam through the pile like a kid in Christmas. She squealed at the in home spa kit and begged Draco to give her one as she took a bubble bath.   
  
She was going up the stairs to the bathroom when she suddenly held onto the banister and groaned in pain. Her cheerfulness and joy disappeared and was replaced by a miserable old woman slouched over clutching her stomach. Her hair went from excited curls to looking as if she'd been electrocuted.   
  
"What's wrong?" he asked.   
  
"You honestly don't know? Where's the stuff I asked you to get?" she asked irritatedly.   
  
Draco, loving man, thought of her needs before his. She was in obvious pain, her face wincing ever so often, her hand rubbing circles on her lower abdomen.   
  
He was a good man, a great man. And he certainly didn't deserve to be in the situation he was going to be in.   
  
Hoping to divert the situation, he pulled her in for a kiss. He thought it was his imagination when her lips pressed his uncomfortably. He thought it odd that her body remained an arms length away.  
  
She groaned. No, not a pleasurable groan, but a nasty groan. She pushed herself away with an Eek and Draco stood, shell shocked that she pushed him away.   
  
"What is the matter with you woman?" his pride wounded, he demanded to know the answer.   
  
"If you really don't know, Draco, you figure it out."  
  
And with that she stomped up the stairs to their room and slammed the door.

* * *

  
  
Later that day, after much thought, Draco figured that he had forgotten an important date - an anniversary of their first date or first kiss, or first double date, or was it Valentine's Day?  
  
He brought Hermione brunch in bed. Her hair looking less electrocuted, he was thankful, as it was always a good indicator of her moods. Weird, yes, but he was very grateful for it.   
  
At the sight of him carrying a tray decorated with a flower in a vase, her hair framed her face in soft waves.   
  
"You are so good to me, honestly." She smiled a genuine smiled and meant the kind words.   
  
Draco internally cheered.   
  
"Happy first kiss!" he proclaimed.   
  
A great person once said, "Stop while you are ahead." And Draco should have followed that, if he weren't such a Slytherin striving for the best.   
  
Her hair instantly volumized into a great, big, poofy ball. He would've laughed if past experience had taught him nothing. Her eyes were mere slits, and she was annoyed. Her hair often ballooned out when she didn't want to deal with stupidity, protecting her ears from possible impurities.   
  
He slowly backed away.

* * *

  
  
"I honestly swear I'm going to kill that man."  
  
Hermione, despite all of her love for Draco, wanted to strangle him. 'Happy first kiss' she wondered. She put her book aside and massaged her temples.   
  
'At least he tries,' Hermione thought, 'he honestly tries'.   
  
She heard the crack that signalled his apparation. She knew where he would go and what he would come back with.   
  
However, as great as his efforts were, he still purchased the wrong thing.

* * *

  
  
And this is where he found himself; his girlfriend still irritated despite all his of attempts to assuage her wants and needs. There were moments where she was content but nothing lasted. In a span of a second, her mood, along with her hair, would transform.   
  
He analyzed her situation and came to the conclusion that women just liked to complain. Afterall, you eventually get used to things, right?   
  
There must be something he was missing out on, because he really didn't know why women moaned and groaned every month over the same thing that happens all the time.  
  
"What?!" Hermione asked in surprise. She couldn't believe that he actually asked that question.   
  
'Oops.' Draco thought. He hadn't realized he said it aloud. He mentally scolded himself for letting her Gryffindorian traits rub off on him. Claiming his Slytherinship back, he decided to take it like a man; like a Malfoy, who never took anything from anyone, let alone a Gryffindor with 'rampaging hormones' as she liked to call them.   
  
"You heard me." He hesitantly said, slowly gaining confidence. "Why is it a big deal? It happens every month – the same symptoms, the same results."   
  
She opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off. "And it only lasts for a couple of days." He pointed out.   
  
He was so sure of himself, that what he'd said was the most obvious thing in the world. Silly, ignorant man, Draco thought he was right.   
  
"Listen, here, Mister," she hissed, "how would you feel if a Cruciatus was aimed right here," she jabbed a finger to his lower stomach, "every month?"  
  
He opened his mouth to answer when she cut him off, "Honestly?" she said sternly, knowing full well that he would lie to maintain his position.   
  
"Ow." he simply said, slowly giving in.   
  
"And your hormones were fluctuating?"   
  
"Er…"   
  
Obviously at a loss for what she meant, Hermione put it in layman's terms, or in this case, Draco's terms: "As if Harry and Ron kept entering and exiting the room through a revolving door?"  
  
To constantly have her two best friends coming and going as they pleased would make him understand. The unwelcomed visits (because let's face it, they all are), and the unannounced "I'm just dropping by visits" that caused his eyes to twitch. Regardless if Hermione warned him beforehand, he still felt the same when the house elf announced their presence.   
  
And to experience that for consecutive days, every month, Draco wanted to throw something.   
  
His facial expressions were visual only to the trained eye. Hermione, after much experience, noticed the slight wince in Draco's face and knew he understood.   
  
"Exactly."  
  
His shoulders drooped in admittance and guilt. He now understood what she, and every woman, went through. He felt guilty for thinking she was over exaggerating when she was in so much pain.   
  
Hermione thought of everything he'd done for her today. He'd gone to the drug store and nearly bought the entire store. He promised her an in-home spa treated by him. He even bought her a straightening iron and learned how to use it for her. He did buy the correct bottle of pills for the menstrual cramps. And even if she preferred the ones with wings, he did purchase her feminine products for her.   
  
"I love you to bits and pieces, love, but honestly, what were you thinking – Happy First Kiss?" she asked, trying to lighten up the mood. "I know it would be easier to make them the same day, as our first kiss was a minute away from midnight. Do you remember what you were a minute to early of?" she teased.  
  
"Valentine's Day?" he half-guessed, half-stated.   
  
"Yes, and it's also…" she left the sentence hanging for him to answer.   
  
A second passed. Another second, and then another. It was quite obvious to Hermione that Draco didn't know. This was something he should know off the top of his head. It was for that reason that her hair started to frizz.   
  
Draco knew the answer to the question, but since hearing Hermione's quip about his bad timing, he decided to tease her by pushing her buttons.   
  
He carefully watched her hair for signs of her frustration, where he waited for that moment between safe and unsafe when the air would cackle, centering around her head.   
  
He found it. Acting quickly, his back straightened as if his mother slapped his back, his chest puffing out like a Malfoy.   
  
"Our anniversary," he drawled, enjoying the changes in her hair. It short circuited for a bit before falling in beautiful curls.   
  
The electricity passed, her hair glowed brightly, and he rejoiced as a true smile beamed from her face.

* * *

The End.

**Requirements: **

1) Draco and Hermione fight over something insignificant

2) Hermione says "Honestly" seven times.


End file.
